Must, Got to, Can’t, Should, Ought!

I must lose weight!  I’ve got to cut down on (fill in the blank.) I can’t continue doing (something you like)!  I ought to spend more time (doing this or that)!  I should (fill in the blank.)   Or, some version of  “breaking or beating old habits.”  How do you feel having such thoughts (intentions?)

If someone comes up to you and says “You’ve got to do this!” what’s the first thing that goes through your mind?  Your immediate reaction:  “The hell I do!” you think.  You didn’t have to work at it.  As soon as those dreadful words “got to” were hurled, you immediately, instinctively, resisted them.  A bit of anger flared at the same instant for protection, didn’t it?  You were prepared to defend your freedom and identity.  That’s part of what makes us human.  Now, where it gets dicey is when this instinctive reaction is directed not at some external threat, but at yourself.

You react to your own thinking in the same way you react to the words spoken by another.  If you think to yourself words such as must, got to, can’t, should, ought, then you  risk resisting yourself.   That resistance becomes your point of attention rather than what you desire.  In a fight against yourself, you lose.

So what to do?  First, practice thinking and speaking to yourself as you would want others to speak to you.  Second, speak and think about what you desire, what you want, rather than what you lack or what your fear.

This is a good time to practice what you want.  Re-consider your intentions.  For example – “I must get up earlier each morning,” or “I must go to bed earlier each night.”  The issue is time.  How about:  “I desire to have all the time I need to do what I choose to do.”

“I can’t eat my treats, I must lose weight.”  The issue – comfort with self.  How about:  “I enjoy everything I eat and everything I eat nourishes my healthy body.”

And, a big one:  “I can’t worry so much.”  The issue – worry makes me feel badly about something I can’t control.  How about:  “Life is Good.  There is Good for all.  I enjoy thinking about Goodness.”

The bottom line is that you select the words you use to speak with yourself.  Are you clearly communicating what you desire?  Or, the tricky part, are you giving more attention to what you don’t want?  Law of Attraction means “ask and you will receive.”  Whatever you’re giving attention is asking.  You have a lot of control over your life experience, after all.